Day 80: Don't Eat Before You Swim

Okay, so I have jumped off the deep end this week.

Monday I went to Strike at 530a and then spinning at 545p. Tuesday I went to the gym at 515 and stayed until 8p. Today, I went to kickboxing at 530a and went again at 7p.

I'm finally seeing the numbers drop a little. Not much, but enough to get me hella motivated to finally getting to my goal. Slowly but surely.

Today, however, I learned a very valuable lesson that pop culture has told us over and over again it's a myth. Don't eat before you swim. Now, in my case, I wasn't swimming, but working out with D in hard core kickboxing. I can never figure it out. Do I eat before I go to the gym so there is something in my system? Do I eat afterward to "optimize my 45" (eat something within 45 minutes of your workout so your next work out works for you instead of against you).

Well, I got home at 515p so I thought if I ate before the 7p class I would have plenty of time to let it digest. WRONG! I had the worst cramps through the class. It made it very difficult to make it through the class without quitting, but damn it, I made it through.

Tomorrow, I will go to the gym at 530a and just work out on a machine. Then go back at 530p (haha 12 hours later) for a 30 minute core conditioning class, and then a 60 minute Strike! class. God help me. If I can make it through this week doing this insane schedule, then I'll definitely consider making it a habit for 2010.

If I could do it, I can do it. :D

Looking back, I'm very disappointed in my lack of weight loss in the last 80 days. But I understand as well. I didn't work as hard as I should have. And I definitely took some serious liberties with my diet. I'm sure sleep has something to do with it as well. I haven't slept well in weeks. But also my stress level has skyrocketed since things are changing at work. So those factors are definitely working against me. It's the constant uphill battle, but I'm armed now and prepared to fight.

And one day, I'll get to writing this stupid book that's in my brain. One day at a time.

Day 73: Long Break

Okay, I've taken a long break from this. I'm very bad. Sorry. Well, the commit to fit program has taken a little break for Thanksgiving, but I'm back on track and have lost 3 lbs. That's something during this holiday season. I guess the loss of appetite is good. I haven't been very hungry lately. My stress level has elevated exponentially. And I'm doing so much to curb my appetite and not stress eat. I'm sure I'm burning calories stressing and concentrating.

But I'm doing okay. Four months and three pounds. Talk about massive failure, but in all honesty I have not been very loyal. So there is that.

I do have a wonderful recommendation, however especially for the holidays. I have found a "digestif" or after dinner drink. It's heavy on the liquor, but it numbs the holiday stress and makes your kitchen smell amazing. Also, if you have trouble sleeping, it's a good way to knock yourself out to sleep through the night.

Family Therapy Cranberry Rosemary Digestif (From the Food Network)

1/2 cup water
1 cup cranberries (fresh)
1 cup sugar
3 inch cinnamon stick (whole stick)
or one teaspoon of ground cinnamon
2 sprigs of rosemary
or 2 tablespoons of rosemary
Pinch of salt
1 lemon, zested

Add the water, cranberries, sugar, cinnamon stick, rosemary, salt and lemon zest to a medium saucepan. Bring to a boil over medium heat. Lower the heat and simmer until slightly reduced in volume and thickened to a syrup. Remove from the heat and strain through a fine mesh sieve into a bowl. Discard the solids. Refrigerate until cool, about 30 minutes.

To make a drink:
Put a handful of ice in a drink shaker along with 1 1/2 ounces of whiskey and 1 tablespoon of the cranberry syrup. Shake gently a few times and strain into a glass. Repeat for the remaining drinks and serve.

Day 57: 2 out of 8

Yes, I took a break over the weekend because I was out of town. So shoot me.

But I did go to the gym today and worked my ass off in David's kickboxing class. I couldn't get to the gym fast enough after work to get to spinning, but ah well. Kickboxing burns more calories anyway.

Well, I looked at my Commit to Fit chart and it said I only took two classes last week. Okay -- you (who are reading) know I went to seven classes last week. Puke and all. So I brought this up, by means of the system, they are just slow. Ironic for a gym. So I'm supposed to keep myself accountable. WTF? I thought that was the point of the gym. For them to track myself for me.

But I made it to class number 8 of the Commit to Fit 2009.

Now if I could write or stop eating junk, I may lose weight and gain a book.

And oh yes, the mundane weekly recommendation: The House of Night Books. Okay, yes it's lame. But I'm a little obsessed with them now. If you're a fan of the awesome series of Twilight, you will like The House of Night. It's a vampyre boarding school where kids who are "marked" are sent to learn about the vampyre culture and see if they can take the change into the bloodsucking being.

If you haven't heard of them, I recommend giving Marked a quick read. They're fun, flighty, easy, and quick. When you're read Twilight too many times, pick this up for a change of pace. I recommend.

Day 53: Vomit and Goals

Hey everyone. The first time ever, I threw up while working out.

I did my Wednesday. I took Total Conditioning and completely forgot how hard it was. I threw up a little half way through the class. So, I decided I shouldn't go to Kickboxing. But at least I made it through the whole 75 minutes of Total Conditioning.

Today, I went to Strike! with Cathy. I usually switch the 6lb bar halfway through the class. But today, I got the 9lb and made it through the whole class.

My shoulders feel like they will fall off.

But I'm just reporting, vomit and 9lbs. Gotta love it.

Day 50: Commit to Fit

My amazing gym has started up this thing. It's called Commit to Fit. I found out I couldn't do the six week nutrition class through the holidays, so now I'm doing this program through the holidays.

So, what happens is the instructor of the class you attend signs a piece of paper, and they take it and document how many times you go to a class. Supposedly, there are prizes at the end, but I thought I'd rock this contest. They try to get you to go a minimum of four times a week.

Well, check this: Core Conditioning is a 30 minute class, and it's offered four times a week. So I figure the new schedule for the week is this.

Monday: Spinning for 60 minutes, Core for 30 minutes
Tuesday: Core for 30 minutes, Strike! for 60 minutes
Wednesday: Total Conditioning for 75 minutes, Kickboxing for 60 minutes
Thursday: Core for 30 minutes, Strike! for 60 minutes
Friday: Strictly Strength for 60 minutes
Saturday: Spinning or Kickboxing for 60 minutes
Sunday: Core for 60 minutes, Pilates for 60 minutes

So, as you can see, it's pretty easy...except for Wednesdays. I will die. But I couldn't even begin to think about doing it if I hadn't done it before. There is a 15 minute break between the two classes, and that is the perfect break. Wednesday will be weights/cardio and then cardio.

I do NOT want to stop taking kickboxing, but I know I'm prepared for TC again. Mondays are now for spinning, and I love spinning.

Anyway, I will die on Wednesdays but feel AWESOME!

And since today is Monday, I will give you a recommendation. LOL. Like you guys care.

My recommendation is Last.fm. It's an online radio that you do not have to pay for. I've been using Pandora, and I'm sure there are many people that listen to Last.fm, but I just found it today, in fact. It's great. You type in an artist and you get what you want. I listened to Frank Sinatra radio and then Christmas Sinatra played. Gotta love the Christmas season.

Yeah, it's lame, but I'll get something better for next week.

Day 46: New Motivation

You know everyone has a different personalities depending on where they are. I'm a different person with my friends vs work vs home vs outside world where no one knows me. And so rarely do any of these worlds collide. Well, tonight, two collided for a brief three minutes.

So, I went to the gym (oh yeah, on a roll). Well, I got there a little early. I always forget that the 530 class goes right up to 6p. I take the 6p Strike! class. Well, I was waiting when I spotted my boss. AHHHH!!!!

Do I say 'hi?' Do I pretend I didn't see her? Do I leave? Am I not supposed to see her outside of the office world?

I was not leaving the gym. I needed those 800+ calories to burn. So, I said hello. I then pretended through the class that she was watching me. Because of this, I pushed myself harder and faster. I am very competitive and must keep up with the instructor come hell or high water.

I pushed. I made it. I rocked it.

Oh yeah! Tomorrow: Strictly Strength. Weight training class that gives me a break from cardio.

Now the question is: Do I give myself a day off a week? Or do I push and work out everyday and take the spinning class on Saturday morning. You know, that's an extra 500 calories to burn.

I think we know our answer.

Funny how our worlds collide.

Day 45: Old Asian Lady Logic

Yeah! I've gone everyday this week so far! Sunday through Wednesday. Good streak so far 2200+ calories burned. Yesterday, I went to Strike! Great class. Well, before the class I was talking to an older Asian lady. She was in amazing shape, and she was very talkative, so what could I do but talk to her. Well, she went on and on about trying to stay in shape. I said something like, "Yeah, you have to keep the weight in check." Well, this woman looked me up and down and gave me a look.

I know a man wouldn't notice, but women notice those little things. Especially when you're self-conscious about your weight. So, I continued talking to her until, thank God! Amy started the class.

I did take kickboxing tonight even though I was a little sick these last two days with food poisoning. But I went, and my knee hurts like hell, but it's okay. It'll be worth it when 50 pounds go away.

Tomorrow, since I can't get up and work out, I'm going to write. I'm going to get up at 6a (instead of 5a) and get to a coffee shop to write. I need to write.

Day 43: Spinning

I am in love! On Friday, that awesome weight class I mentioned made me more sore than I have been in months. Well, the instructor, Lindsay, told me about spinning (mainly because I asked). But because of her motivation and her knowing I was going to be there, I went to her spin class today.

Holy crap it was amazing! Who knew sitting on a bike for an hour would be so much fun. My butt hurts, my thighs are killing me, but it was completely worth it. And then there is a thirty minute core conditioning class right after with the same instructor. My abs are KILLING me from Friday still, but it was awesome.

I hurt, but it's a good hurt. I'm also so damn tired, it's 830p and I'm about to fall asleep.

Yay for being re-motivated and kicking serious spinning/core ass! Kiss this!

And yes, it's Monday: Weekly Recommendation time.

I am going to recommend another band this week. I heard this really cool band again on NPR, Pink Martini. They are this fun swing, 1960s flavor of music. I feel like I should have a martini and cigarette with I listen, but it's just fun music that belongs on the Mad Men soundtrack. I recommend them if you're looking for something new but old. Pink Martini.

Day 41: Ow!

I hate the holidays. It was last Thanksgiving that I started gaining the weight that is now piled on my gut. So here we are again. I'm not only trying to get that weight off, but additional as well.

Well, I went to a weight training class yesterday, on a Friday evening. And you know what? I can barely get my arms up. My abs are so sore and my butt hurts. But that's good.

I talked to the instructor, Lindsay, also and she told me about her spinning class. I'm going to go on Monday and see if I can hit up kickboxing afterward. haha.

But pain is weakness leaving your body. And I hope weakness means fat.

Happy Halloween!

Day 38: Left Means Left

I made it back to the gym. However, I managed to hurt my left ankle/knee. I couldn't make it through the last bit of class, but I've taken pills and put my knee on ice. For the last two Wednesday's that I've gone to Dee's kickboxing class, I've walked out with the most intense charlie horse. Holy crap. I could barely walk out of the class. And now with my ankle throbbing, I thought it best.

But the class did begin with Dee playing Thriller and then a girl walked in with one of my best friend's hair. This is the best friend who always went to that class with me.

But also, there was this girl I kept laughing at. When he would shout, "Left foot bounce" she would turn right. And then, he would shout, "Right foot bounce." Then she would turn left.

Anyway, it's the little things.

Also, I realized I should not only recommend a recipe, but I should provide it. haha.

Greek Lasagna as credited to Moosewood Restaurant New Classics

Tomato Sauce:
3 Tablespoons olive oil
2 cups chopped onions
4 garlic cloves, minced or pressed
2 teaspoons dried marjoram
5 cups undrained canned whole tomatoes (14.5 ounce cans)
1/3 cup chopped kalamata olives
2 teaspoons ground black pepper
3 Tablespoons chopped fresh dill

1 large eggplant (1 .5 lbs) [I substituted ground turkey]
olive oil for brushing
3 eggs, beaten
2 cups of cottage cheese
1 teaspoon ground fennel seeds
3 cups grated feta cheese
1/2 pound uncooked lasagna noodles (12 noodles) [I used Spinach noodles]

In a saucepan, warm the olive oil briefly on medium-high heat. Add the onions and saute for about 5 minutes, stirring frequently, until the onions have begun to release juices. Stir in the garlic and marjoram and saute until the onions are translucent. Add the tomatoes, cover, and bring to a simmer; then reduce the heat to medium-low--just enough to maintain a simmer. Add the olives, salt, and pepper. For best flavor, add the dill just before assembling the lasagna.

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. Lightly oil a baking sheet.

While the sauce gently simmers, lay the eggplant on the baking sheet, brush them with olive oil, and back uncovered for about 15 minutes. Remove the eggplant from the oven and reduce the heat to 350 degrees. [I cooked the ground turkey on the stove top instead of this.]

Meanwhile, in a bowl, mix together the eggs, cottage cheese, ground fennel, and 1 cup of the feta and set aside.

Lightly oil a 7.5 x 10 x 3 inch casserole dish. Evenly spread 2 cups of the tomato sauce in the bottom of the dish. Top with a layer of noodles and cover with 1 cup of the tomato sauce. Next layer all of the eggplant rounds [or ground turkey], 1 cup of feta cheese, a second layer of noodles, and another cup of the tomato sauce. Finish with all of the egg and cottage cheese mixture, a third layer of noodles, the rest of the sauce, and the remaining cup of feta.

Cover the lasagna with aluminum foil and bak for 45 to 50 minutes [recommend 50]. Remove from the oven, uncover the lasagna, and let it sit for 10 to 15 minutes before serving.

[Per 15 ounce serving: 462 calories]

Day 36: HA!

Yeah, okay. I haven't been to the gym since Wednesday. Galen came in last weekend, so I didn't work out.

I haven't written anything. This is a blog of failure. I can't make my deadlines. No way.

But, it's Monday and I promised a recommendation. Because honestly, why else would anyone be reading this piece of shit blog. I'm a failure. This is crap. I can't lose this weight. I don't know how. This is ridiculous.

But my recommendation for this week is the Moosewood Cookbook. I made this really amazing Greek Lasagna for dinner with my aunt and uncle. It was amazing. I completely recommend it if you have a couple of hours to make a kick ass lasagna. It's not easy, but damn, I was proud of myself.

That's my recommendation. Let's see if I can scrape myself off the floor and get my fat ass to a gym. Probably not because I can't seem to get the motivation to lose this extra weight.

Day 29: Miracle

I could not sleep last night. It was the definition of ridiculous. I was too tired to read, but not too tired to watch Friends. I was too tired to bake, but not to tired to read the internet. And I planned on getting to the gym this morning, but watching the clock tick past 10p, 11p, and then midnight, I knew it was impossible.

So, I must say it was a damn miracle I dragged myself to the gym for the 645p kickboxing class with David. And you know what? I almost left half way through. But I knew I would hate myself if I did. My knee was hurting, I was out of breath. Ridiculous. But I stayed and kicked ass. I made it. And I plan on doing it again tomorrow. And getting to the gym in the morning. That's right, the morning.

Good things have come on the writing front, as well. As soon as I post this blog I am opening my document and going to write. The right people know I'm writing this and, as I said, the pressure is on.

I will start doing a weekly recommendation to help me explore more things whether it be music, cooking, books. This week my recommendation is in the music category.


Bomba Estereo is a Columbian band that mixes live instruments and computerized loops. It's fun music that is good for dancing and writing. I found them via NPR.

Next Monday, I will have another recommendation.

This blog just became something more.

Day 25: Absent

Hi everyone who reads my blog. Probably no one. But anyway, I've been absent this week and plan on being absent for the rest of it. This week I don't care. But you know what? I lost a pound. Why?

Why is it when I do nothing and eat whatever I want (in proper portions) I lose a pound? I'm getting so excited about cooking that it would be difficult to stay on track, but portions are key. I was good on my portions yesterday.

But you know what? I wrote my entire outline for my book. I know how it will end. I'm writing starting this weekend.

Day 20: Early Saturday

I made it! I made it to the gym on a Saturday at 8a! Yay for boyfriend who works out, too and pushed me to the gym. We did our own home workout, but then went and burned some serious calories.

On my other goal front, I've now told my boss about it, so the fire is under my butt. I've got to get it written and have her rape it to be published. Outline will be finished today! Today. today. Maybe. haha. Inspiration! Come and get me!

Day 19: Jock Straps Were Made for a Reason

Somehow I managed to drag myself to the gym this morning. I don't know how. I got to the gym when it was hot, muggy, 80 degrees. I left when it was pouring, freezing and 65 degrees.

Welcome October! You're a little late.

Although, I was not ready for the freezing weather. But I made it to the gym. Tomorrow, kickboxing. Sunday, machine. We'll be on par.

Day 18: Fork in a U-Turn

The road to the gym is tricky. It's a giant u-turn. I could turn into the shopping center and order Chewy's take out. Or I could go around the corner to the gym.

This week I have started going back to the classes. I went to Strike! today. That class is always awesome, but since I hadn't been in a good while, I was training for training with the machines. Today was great. I haven't gone in the morning since Monday. It's getting harder and harder to get up at 430a to get to the gym. I will try it tomorrow since my wonderful boyfriend is coming into town. I would be too tired to go after work.

I'm trying to only take one day a week to take a break. Tuesday was my day off. Friday cannot be day two. Since Galen has gotten on this gym jag (finally!) he'll be going to the gym this weekend as well. So, Saturday will be good to get to kickboxing at 10a with a ga-jillion other people.

But nonetheless, I'm still on track.

Day 16: Fail

Yesterday, I rocked. I went first thing in the morning to the gym and rocked out for an hour. And then, you know what? I went to kickboxing for the first time in weeks.


David (voted in the top 10 most fit in Austin) totally kicked my ass. But I didn't go today. I woke up, got dressed and even got half way down the first flight of stairs of my apartment when I realized not only did my knee hurt like a bitch. But my right ankle is so sore. I was also so tired, I knew I would fall off the machine when I got there.

So, I came back in and slept for another hour.

And instead of going this evening, I've decided to help a friend. That was more important than burning calories.

But tomorrow, I will be there crack of dawn to work out like a fiend. I will not be able to go tomorrow evening.

Crisis Averted

The iPod lives to fight another day. Juiced it up for 4 minutes in the car, and it finally is up and updating/charging in the computer.

This Pod ain't corrupt!

Day 14: Damn you, Ty Pennington

Hey Ladies,

If you're reading--that is. (hi megan!) I managed to get to the gym this weekend even though I was spending time with my family and friends. Amazing, I know. Did my hour on Saturday morning and got to the gym this evening just in time to catch Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. Damn that show. I was nearly crying on the machine. I went over my hour just so I could see the family's reaction to Ashley Tisdale performing at their new home.

Tugs at the heart strings.

But I burned about 800 calories doing that and did okay on the diet.

Now, I have a new idea for a screenplay. I will not divulge that information here because I know industry professionals are reading this waiting for my dumb sentence structure to wow them into submission. But also because I'd rather not give you the context in which this line of dialogue will go. "It's like I'm fucking a cloud."

Yes, I thought that one up on the way home.

In other news, I have not touched my novel except for that blip last week, and my iPod is dead again. I tried plugging it into my computer to charge, but it is so dead it won't let me. And now the screen did something very scary. So, let's hope tomorrow it will continue to work.

Day 12: Fail and Half Fail

Yesterday was a fail. I even slept in an extra fifteen minutes I was so tired. I also did not get a chance to go to the gym after work because I thought it was more important to hang out with my best friend before she goes on a month long tour to Europe. Who wouldn't be jealous to go to Europe to play music and get paid for it. Anyway, I didn't go. But I did go this morning. However, the half fail came from only staying half an hour. I needed to come back and get ready for the day because once again I slept in.

I'm too tired. But the problem will be easily solved by going to bed a little earlier making me an old woman.

On the writing front, I'm moving, but very, very slowly. I hope the goal is still tangible.
Anyway, I have to get my day together.

While I may have only worked out for thirty minutes, I burned well over 4000 calories this week. That's more than a pound. I wish it would show up on the scale more, but it's something.

Happy Friday! And happy October!

Day 9 Part 2

Oh yeah, that's right. I went to the gym again. I burned 1400+ calories today. Damn straight. The reason I am scared of going to the gym in the evening is because of a sickness only my good friends know. I have an uncontrollable need to get a fantastic parking spot. I dented my last car because of it.

And the main complaint I have about my fabulous apartment is the lack of parking come 6pm. I would have to park 3-4 buildings away. But after parking said 4 buildings away last night, I realized that it was nothing. It wasn't like I had to park on the street across the highway. It was across a parking lot within my complex. So, my fear is beginning to wane. If I can get over my parking fear (and my fear of dead bodies--not having to do with the gym necessarily) I could so lose this weight.

So, gym twice a day. Who was I kidding. Me working out at home. HA!

But on another happy note, I have been rebitten by the writing bug. Half of my manuscript has been outlined. And I know how the rest will go. I need to get cracking harder, but I think I know what my motivation will be. I just need to get it out there for the world.

Here we go. Day 10-- double digits. Bring it on!

Day 9: iPod

It's becoming a miracle that I get up every morning and get to the gym by 530a. But alas, I did it again today. Now, honestly, this blog is stupid. I know the readers (my friends) could care less how my daily gym routine goes, and honestly I'm surprised I have enough to say about this journey I'm on to write every or every other day.

But today, today was a little piece of drama that sucked. I did my 45 minutes on the elliptical, and as a reward, I get on the bike and race for 15 minutes to get my 700 calories burned. Well, at the five minutes to home mark, Ms. Beyonce started to belt out her "Single Ladies" and I did the bike sprint. Thirty seconds later, my beloved iPod dies. Now, this thing is amazing to have lasted four years with little to no problems. But now, the battery is shit. I have to charge it every other day. But honestly, I never thought four minutes and thirty seconds would be so long.

And echoing the blog written yesterday, who was on the TV when my iPod died? Mariah Carey!! Between Ms. Sports Bra, Ms. Could Use a Sports Bra, and Ms. Stupid Tattoo I had the privy of seeing whose movie yesterday, I'm surprised I'm up and ready to take on the day.

Tuesday. Welcome to the Suck!

Day 8

Today started with a bang. Somehow I made it back to the gym. That makes two Mondays. Yeah! I did okay on calories, but I did make some seriously orgasmic jalapeno corn bread, and damn I'm awesome.

But watching Mariah Carey on the big screen at the gym and staring at the ass of a tiny girl on the bike in front of me wearing a sport bra, I got some perspective. I'm on a fantastic track. No, I'm not near where I want to be, but you know, I made it to the gym. And that is an accomplishment.

The office was incredibly tense, and you know what? Stress increasing your heart rate and makes you perspire, so in effect, did I burn calories at the office? I certainly hope so because I did have a low calorie intake, and a high calorie burn, but a little extra off never killed anyone.

Not much else to report. No, I haven't started writing. Even an outline. I'm hoping to start on it this weekend, but maybe this week some time. On track though. That's what counts.

Day 7: Is Lady Gaga really a hermaphrodite?

I made a new work out mix. Would you like to know it?
1) Stranger by Hilary Duff 2) Kill the Lights by Britney Spears 3) Shut Up and Drive by Rihanna 4) Umbrella by Rihanna 5) Paparazzi by Lady Gaga 6) Genie in a Bottle by Christina Aguilera 7) Lovegame by Lady Gaga 8) Funkytown by Lipps, Inc 9) Circus by Britney Spears 10) Just Dance by Lady Gaga 11) Breakout by Miley Cyrus 12) I'm a Slave for U by Britney Spears 13) In the Ayer by Flo Rida 14) Womanizer by Britney Spears 15) Gypsy Woman by Hilary Duff 16) Single Ladies by Beyonce 17) See You Again by Miley Cyrus 18) Glamorous by Fergie 19) Don't Stop the Music by Rihanna 20) Poker Face by Lady Gaga

Anyway, that's what kept me company as I finished Bright Lights, Big Ass by Jen Lancaster at the gym. But I was thinking about that rumor that apparently is old that Lady Gaga is a hermaphrodite. The pictures are damning, but whatever. I like her music. They're good to drive and work out to.

So that means, that somehow at 4p today, I dragged myself from my cozy apartment to the gym and did my hour work out. That's right. If that's not dedication, I don't know what is. Of course, Galen and I didn't go this morning. I did manage to be a bitch before he left, but I just can't seem to win in areas of our relationship. Nonetheless, I went to the gym and burned my 600+ calories right on schedule.

While I was working out, and reading from Jen Lancaster, I was thinking the things you don't think...ever. The what if... What if I hadn't gotten off schedule. What if I kept the 20 lbs off and where would I be right now if I stayed course. I'd be about 15 lbs from my goal weight. Can you believe that? I could have been at my goal weight of 130 by my birthday. Funny how shit happens. I'm hoping to get those 15 off by my birthday and battle the 40 next year.

As much as my goal is still set to finish a draft of my book by the end of the year, weight loss is definitely the priority, and I am not taking it as seriously. I need this weight off like you wouldn't believe. I'll get there. It will be good. Positive

Day 6: Fail

Last night, my wonderful boyfriend came in from College Station to spend the weekend with me. So, I cooked, which made my calorie mark a little high. But not overly crazy. We then went to bed around 10p. Both extremely exhausted.

This morning, I distinctly remember waking up just before 8a and saying, "Let's go to the gym." He then draped his arm across me and said, "Okay." We then went back to sleep for a couple hours. So, the gym was out. We made a healthy breakfast--well, I did. And then he went off to play Magic. I love it when he comes in town for just a few hours to play a large fraction of it at a store across town.

Anyway, we had, and by we, I mean me, a healthy lunch, and I spent the majority of the day catching up on my Netflix movies. All the while munching, snaking, and shopping. Oh, but I did buy a George Foreman grill. This will help with healthy cooking. So, it's like I'm preparing for health today. See below.

I did go to the gym today. Despite everything, I got a massage. And honestly, while I did not burn and cardio calories, I had my muscles repaired by the wonderful masseuse, Stephany. But there are many diets and work outs that call for a day off. Galen did say after lunch that he would make both of us go to the gym tomorrow morning before his appointment and subsequent exit from Austin. So my fraction of time with my boyfriend, who I love, will be spent apart or sweating profusely. And not in a good, or pleasurable way unfortunately.

This did turn into more of a rant than a blog, but I wanted to relay that I did nothing today. But I will feel good in knowing I burned 3600 calories this week (a pound), and the damage I saw on the scale was not as bad as it was on Monday. I would put the number on this, but I'm honestly too ashamed to admit the number. It is much less than what it was in high school, but it is more than what it was a year ago.

Tomorrow, the gym. Monday, the gym. Hopefully, tomorrow writing. I feel like the first step to writing is an outline. I don't have an outline. I will map something out tomorrow and get to it. I have up to chapter three, and the first act break is coming up.

Day 4

Another day, another dollar. I've been going pretty steady. This morning, I got to the gym half an hour earlier even. It is official, I have been re-bitten by the gym bug, and I am so glad. I've missed the itch. But now it's 9p, and I'm exhausted and looking forward to going to bed early to get to the gym early.

When I went to the gym like it was a religion, I was in the best shape of my life since I was 6 years old. It was an amazing feeling, and I want it back and then some.

You know what? I hated going to the gym after work because there were so many damn people there. It was so crowded and loud, it hurt to even go. I wouldn't stay more than 45 minutes because it was so annoying. Also, I was so tired after the eight hour day and stresses from my oh-so-stressful job of erotica publishing. The first morning I went, I stayed the full hour, and I didn't even notice. What helps also is the lovely woman named Jen Lancaster. She is the most hilarious woman I've read in writing, and she keeps me entertained on the elliptical and bike. Plus, I get an added ab work out by laughing.

Anyway, I was going in the direction of, there are a lot of people there in the morning. Not nearly as bad as in the evening--no kids in the morning. But nonetheless, there are still a decent parking lot full of people. This is encouraging to me. It makes me feel like I'm not the only one who's battling this problem.

And here is something else, the bathroom at work doesn't work. We've been having to go to the store next door. And because I'm working out and have increased my water intake by about 100%, this is particularly problematic. But here's the question: Do I stop drinking water to be productive in my day and not dread going to the bathroom, or having to hold it so long I don't know if I can make it? Or, do I continue to drink my supposed-to-be 90 oz of water a day to help lose this weight and deal with the embarrassment of going next door to see the guys eight times a day?

Anyway, for now I will take the 5 minute break to go to the bathroom and rejoice in the fifteen seconds outside. But, I'm signing off to go to bed, so I can start it all tomorrow. I will hope and pray I can continue this into next week. And hopefully soon I will get bitten by the writing bug and start on my draft again.

Day 2: Operation Weight Loss

Due to heavy rain finally pouring in, I decided to not risk my life in the 10 minute drive to the gym, and instead did a work out DVD in house. I was lucky for my mother to buy the entire Beach Body workout series (sister company of the famous P-90X) and never use it. I took it, and am using it in situations just like this. I did the 50 minute Turbo Jam work out. I know it's not as good as doing kickboxing in the gym where I'm on wood floor instead of carpet, but I sweated and felt good.

I'm going to do better today. I have to reign this in if I have a chance of success.

Did some self-toning work outs at home this evening while watching Caligula. Never thought I'd say Helen Mirren was hot. Was okay throughout the day. Stayed under the calorie mark, but close to it. Nonetheless, it was day 2. If you stress yourself out, does that burn more calories?

It's lunch that's the problem. I come home for lunch, and I make something that's fast and easy. So the problem will be solved with me cooking the night before for something to heat up. I need to think of some better solutions for lunch. What I noticed today was I was hungry when I got home, I had a bigger dinner. Therein lies the problem. I can't have a big dinner. That's where the weight came from. If you eat a little dinner, you're able to burn it off easier before you go to bed. Also, if you eat before 8p. No carbs after 9p. Period. When I talked to a personal trainer, he said exactly that, and that was probably where my weight came from. I eat well--not perfect, but not horrible--but I do eat late and big. So, I'm going to start working to reverse that.

Every day is something new. Today was at home work outs. Tomorrow will be smaller, more frequent meals and snacks. What's the saying? Three months to make something a habit? Well, I have less than three months to make this a reality.

Now, it seems I've already forgotten the writing portion of my goals. So, tomorrow will be a good day one for writing. Here's hoping.

Day 1

We are off to a great start! I had yogurt on the way to the gym this morning at 5:15 a.m. I worked out for an hour. Thirty minutes on the elliptical, thirty minutes on the bike. Last week when I started back at the gym, I could only make it about 40 minutes before I wanted to die. I think it helps a lot that I started in the morning. So now, I'm up, I'm awake, and my metabolism has been jump started.

When I come home this evening, I will relax (because I have to) and then do an hour of Carmen Electra's strip tease work out. More to report after we try that out.

* * * *

Well, okay. That was interesting. I knew Carmen Electra was a skank and a stripper, but damn. At least she has done good ideas for stretching and stripping. I only did half an hour because my knees hurt. I've had knee pain for as long as I can remember. Anyway, here I am with creaking knees, but I'm going to take plenty of medication to help it.

Anyway, I did slip up already on my first day. I was meeting my mother in Blanco to pick up my cat, and she was half an hour late. I went to Sonic and got a kid's meal. So, damn. I had a pretty simple, but unhealthy lunch. So, lesson learned. I'm cooking tonight so I don't waste time tomorrow on my 30 minute lunches at home.

Anyway, I know I can do it. I had about 1400 calories today, but burned about 800. I need to by a scale and see exactly how bad the damage is. I'm taking control. I know I can do it.

This was day one. I did some good and some bad, but you can't quit cold turkey and know you'll get to the other side. It'll happen. On track. Day 2 is a day away.

Day 0

I know I said in April I was going to start over and make this blog a tracker for myself. Obviously didn't work.

Well, I'm doing it now. This blog will be a goal maker. There are two goals I have that I want to meet by the end of 2009. Seeing that It's the Fall season on Tuesday, I don't have much time to make these goals come to reality, but this will make me do it.

Goal 1: I will lose 15 pounds. Last year, I lost 20 pounds going from 190 to 170. I felt so great. Granted, I had quite a ways to go, but it was an amazing start. I should explain how I lost that weight. I went to the gym everyday, twice a day. I worked out for two hours a day and monitored my diet like the government monitors Iraq. It was insane. Well, then in January, I got a job. A fabulous job. It was because of this job I stopped going to the gym as much, and instead of cooking, I would just go out. It was a fast transition to doing a 15-20 hour internship to a 40 hour work week. But in the last 9.5 months, I've gained 15 of the lost pounds back. Thank God, not the whole 20, but still, 15 is unacceptable. Needless to say, I want it back off by my birthday. Galen and I both will work out until we turn green or turn super skinny :).

Goal 2: To finish my book. As I mentioned, I got a job. I got a job in publishing erotica. Since the sixth grade I've been a fan of erotica. I remember the book even that got me started: Olivia by V.C. Andrews. I picked it up because Olivia was my best friend at the time. After I read the first (now I realize PG) sex scene, I was hooked. I read a book by V.C. Andrews every week getting me the reading award in sixth grade. Little did Mrs. Hesse know, I was reading sex. Ah well, needless to say, I started a book for my company and am only 32 pages in. I want it finished by Christmas. It's a trilogy. Anyway, those are my two goals.

For next year, my goals are to finish Claire once and for all and submit it to AFF. I plan to lose another 20 lbs. I will read more. I have my own personal book store in my apartment, and I want to read all of the books. Anyway.

This is what it is, other than my rambling. I'm buying a scale tomorrow. I'm going back to SparkPeople.com. I'm going to the gym at 530-630 every morning from now on. When I come home, I'm cooking dinner and working out here. I will get my weight off. I will.

I read a while ago that Mondays are the best for starting a habit. So, tomorrow, Monday, September 21st will be day one in my make over. It will happen.

A New Year, and New Perspective

It's been a year almost to the day since I've written here. You can see that I have so much time on my hands. The last year has been a fast paced one. I have lost 20lbs, gained 5lbs. Graduated from college and found a full time job as an e-publishing assistant. I consider myself very lucky to have done all that in this economy and with what time I have.

Once Thanksgiving hit, and I was at my all time low in weight, I started putting on the evil 5. Christmas, my birthday, New Years turned to Valentine's turned to Spring Break hell. But now I'm losing again, and I'm more than thrilled. All it took was a little motivation.



Thin is the New Happy by Val Frankel. I have to say something about this book. I loved it. But I do believe that Val Frankel was going for the idea of being comfortable in your own skin and owning your self-image. What it did for me, however, was make me realize how unhappy I was, and how little I was doing about it. So, I read the book in just a few days while working out at the gym. The weight is finally coming off. It's all about consistency and repetition.

I've been carrying anywhere between 50-90lbs of weight on my shoulders since I was 11 years old. So to see that I'm 40 away from my goal is amazing. Forty seems like a lot to wade through, but it seems much more attainable now that I know I can do it, and that I have the motivation staring me in the face. I can't wait to shed the pounds and pour into a bikini. It may not be this summer, but it will be next, and I will look good on my 23rd birthday.